Well I can almost hear you thinking what kind of title is 'Speech surgery and rogue stones'. That is exactly what this new blog post is all about!
Earlier this year I was asked by the London Cancer Alliance if I would be a patient's voice at a survivorship forum. As I had taken part in a Macmillan Hope course it was thought I could be a good candidate for the job! Off course I agreed, but little did I know it would be me and 60-70 health professionals. The first speaker was an oncology professor, no pressure then. I had written notes but didn't read from the, the whole point being that I spoke from the heart. My opening sentence got instant attention "A diagnosis of cancer no longer has to be a death sentence, but it can be a life sentence".
I spoke about the black hole that we fall into regularly, the depression that so many of us have to battle. How setting goals can help in moving forward, that naming things that we are grateful for can make us realise that today is a new day and tomorrow is another day. I asked how many of them look up from their paper,book,phone or laptop and smile at a stranger. That smile could be the start of a good day for someone. I've been asked to help set up a group at a local hospital, people were asking me for advice! I walked out of the building feeling 10ft tall.
Two weeks later (sept 25th) found me back in hospital, this time for elected surgery. Yes it was time to say goodbye to my troublesome gall bladder. They tried keyhole but as anticipated it was open surgery. My consultant said the offending organ came out easily but she had to clear a lot of bowel adhesions in the process. When I came round I wasn't in too much pain and on a morphine pump that's when the trouble started. It seems me and morphine don't get on well. I had to be taken off the pump as my breathing was shallow. So they gave me an inject of something (?) to combat the morphine and thought I should have a drip to flush the morphine out. Problem!! The cannula from earlier had already given up so along came a junior doctor to put in another, then came a second junior doctor and finally an SHO finally after the 11th attempt between them a new cannula was in! I felt quite sorry for them, they kept apologising, I just laughed and asked if they were trying to play join the dots on my arms. The next day I didn't feel too bad to start with but as the day went on those little grey hats came in useful a couple of times!?! Friday was the Macmillan big coffee morning and there was no way I was going to miss it. After asking a nurse then my consultant and after promising not to eat any cake (what!) I had a slow walk to the Macmillan centre and back. Later that day my consultant came to see me and sent me home!
Being home is obviously better than being in hospital but being on 'house arrest' again really got to me. Add to the mix that hubby is home sick after having surgery on his wrist the day after my surgery and my daughter is also having problems with her arm after surgery a few months ago and I'm sure you can understand why being home isn't always a good thing!
Just when I'm starting to feel better and ready to venture out I began having pains again, I joked that it felt like a gallstone attack, but it couldn't be it's all gone right? The emergency doc diagnosed trapped wind. The next day ( sun 20th October) I woke at 6am in pain again and eventually after being in A&E for nearly 6hrs I was admitted again! After an ultra-sound and a ct scan it was thought I might have a liver infection but an MRI showed 2 stones stuck in the bile duct! Monday they gave me tramadol for the pain and I soon remembered why I didn't like the stuff, dizziness, mind working overtime. Never again!! Wednesday evening I had another bad attack, awful pain and they had to get the doctor on call to prescribe stronger pain relief, he was hesitant to give me morphine but I persuaded him and finally got to sleep. Thursday, after being nil -by- mouth on and off for three days I finally had an endoscopy, a small cut in the bile duct and the rogue stones (approx 7.5mms) removed. Friday home to start recovery part two!!
I have driven a couple of times this week, and today took our dog out for the first time in 6wks. I'm still uncomfortable but pleased to be getting out. It's been a rough few weeks, and I've had some really down days but I'm not going to fall back into that black hole!
What I've been through is nothing compared with what many are battling and I've felt really guilty about feeling sorry for myself.
Onwards and upwards!!
